Why aren't the elderly looked after?

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  • This is not something I like to dwell upon as this time is moving nearer .in fact I thought of it only today .

    Who will look after us when we cannot look after ourselves ?

    I have no children, so for me, it will be no one.

    The scenario looks bleak .
    I who have a house that can pay for my care home fees ( as long as I don’t take too long to kark it .)

    Obviously I hope it doesnt come to that

    But I don’t look forward to sitting on a plastic chair and having my backside wiped by someone from the African continent .or anyone for that matter.

    What generations to come who have no such fall back plan will do I don’t know ..

    You need to get an accountant right now. Put your house in a trust, otherwise they'll be no inheritance to pass on. My parents said they were going to do this and never did and once you're diagnosed with a serious illness, it's too late. If checks are done which showed you were trying to avoid care fees as a result of an illness, you can get prosecuted. It needs to be done before you get ill.

    And as for the Africans comment, around my parts, they are all African. Even the Asians and Eastern Europeans won't do that work anymore.

  • Now a contentious part, these people can be violent, kicking, scratching, nipping, biting and spitting and I don't care who you are, you will only take so much.

    I had no choice. I did it for over 15 years. And as an example, when I used to wash my dad, I would call him Dracula. He had a thing for my neck...

    He was the most gentle, docile person ever before he got ill.

  • As we get older we can become susceptible to things like water infections. Sounds very tame, except those water infections can cause a normally mild mannered soul to become very aggressive, violent and\or antagonist.

    I think you may be referring to urine infections.

    If someone is well cared for, any infection can be identified early, medicine given and it stops any further progression.

  • I think you may be referring to urine infections.

    If someone is well cared for, any infection can be identified early, medicine given and it stops any further progression.

    Yes H that's exactly what I mean, urine is water lol.

    Yet hospitals see so much of it, even from care homes, but it's often the irrational behaviour that is the first indicator that something is not right, but if they refuse treatment or become aggressive that can often lead to them being sectioned as without mental capacity, and this then spirals into restraints, forced sedation and in some cases a full sectioning.

    Did your parents have any children that lived.

  • All I ask is that you bare in mind these things before condemning those carers without knowing facts. I always used to advise new guys, whatever you do, you must be able to justify your actions to senior management, police or the courts, if in doubt leave it out.

    All I would say to that is, in my experience, so-called carers, as provided by the State, are anything but caring. And I think I'll leave it at that.

    There is a clear blue difference between those who have dementia and those who don't.

  • Yes H that's exactly what I mean, urine is water lol.

    Yet hospitals see so much of it, even from care homes, but it's often the irrational behaviour that is the first indicator that something is not right, but if they refuse treatment or become aggressive that can often lead to them being sectioned as without mental capacity, and this then spirals into restraints, forced sedation and in some cases a full sectioning.

    Wasn't sure, do like to be accurate.:thumbup::)

    It's mostly the ladies that get the urine infections, and that is mainly down to poor cleaning of them.

  • Most of my cases have been gentlemen tbh, but I understand that everyone's experiences are different.

    Did your parents have any children that lived.

  • We tried live in care for a while but there came a point when the needs of my mum in particular could not be met

    £6k a month for 2 people in a care home is the cheaper end of the market.

    One thing I think is deeply unfair is that those people who were funded by the council were charged less

    In effect those of us that paid were subsidising the council funded inmates

    I am assuming both your parents had dementia, otherwise that charge is criminal and you should seek legal advice to recoup costs.

    On fairness, I agree. In the end, I claimed carer's allowance which is a mere £66ish, yet there are tons of families out there who don't care for their parents or pay for them and everything is paid for them. The same people who have no savings, yet got sky installed when it first came out, mobiles etc.

    The system needs to change. I lost over 15 years of income at the exact time of my "prime" earning age. I don't regret it at all, I would never allow those "carers" to touch my parents, but the toll on me was huge. (still is, even though it's technically over now)

  • Most of my cases have been gentlemen tbh, but I understand that everyone's experiences are different.

    I can't comment for your particularly situation, but this happens in homes when their nappies aren't changed often enough. Anything less than 5/6 times a day is asking for trouble, and care homes just don't provide that level of care, not even the bupa one near me is that good.

    (Of course, a change of nappy, also means a wash each time too.)

    I'll ponder this, but I might post a pic of my situation when I was looking after my dad. I would need to screen him out, but if people aren't familiar with stuff, they soon would be after seeing the pic!

  • Sounds troubling H, but I think the description should suffice, but of course that's your choice.

    I hated Ed Balls as a Labour MP, but he made a great mini documentary about the social care sector where he went to work with them. If not seen it is quite an eye opener.

    https://www.carehome.co.uk/news/article.cfm/id/1659381/government-social-care-documentary-debate

    Did your parents have any children that lived.

  • The scenario looks bleak .
    I who have a house that can pay for my care home fees ( as long as I don’t take too long to kark it .)

    Obviously I hope it doesnt come to that

    But I don’t look forward to sitting on a plastic chair and having my backside wiped by someone from the African continent .or anyone for that matter.

    What generations to come who have no such fall back plan will do I don’t know ..

    I've spent most of this afternoon with someone in one of those £6k a month care homes and it is nothing like as grim as you suppose. Like a good hotel room with full board plus excellent very pleasant staff. https://www.barchester.com/choosing-a-care-home

    But that's £72k a year and being in homes like that will extend the lifespan. Average life expectancy in a care home varies from ~2.5 years at age 90 to 7 years for age 65-69. A mid point of that suggests plan to have at least £350k of funds.

  • Sounds troubling H, but I think the description should suffice, but of course that's your choice.

    I hated Ed Balls as a Labour MP, but he made a great mini documentary about the social care sector where he went to work with them. If not seen it is quite an eye opener.

    https://www.carehome.co.uk/news/article.c…umentary-debate

    What no politician will ever say is that is as far as dementia goes, no care home or paid for care, will ever be able to care for someone like a family member can. It's simply impossible. It takes too long, literally the whole day (and night).

    The solution to this is to find a cure for dementia. That's where the money should be poured into.

  • I don't know what to say to that, simply that I am not emtionally strong enough to do what you've did for so many years.

    There is of course another side to this, a side unseen unless something goes wrong. An injury to you meaning he might not have been touched for days. The carers exhaustion and mental state (despair springs to mind). Accusatory fingers pointing if someone deemed that care was insufficient or lacking. The costs financially, emotionally, domestically (divorces, family splits) and mentally in the longer term.

    Is this over for you now,? May I ask. You mention your mum's passing but not your dads

    Did your parents have any children that lived.

  • Thank you for sharing something so personal.❤️

    I'm quite a personable person.^^

    As I said, the solution for this, is for it not to happen to begin with.

    A cure for dementia, after defence and law and order, should be a country's top priority.

    It was my intention to use this site as a campaigning tool for dementia, but shit happens.

  • The scenario looks bleak .
    I who have a house that can pay for my care home fees ( as long as I don’t take too long to kark it .)

    Obviously I hope it doesnt come to that

    But I don’t look forward to sitting on a plastic chair and having my backside wiped by someone from the African continent .or anyone for that matter.

    What generations to come who have no such fall back plan will do I don’t know ..

    Roll on assisted dying legislation.

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