Why aren't the elderly looked after?

  • We had to wait to move to Spain, because we looked after my mother for 5 years , and she eventually died age 93 in 2017, she had terrible dementia in the end. My sister was only interested i n what money she could tap my mother for, and declined to help look after her, so we had to take her in, and I retired early to help, because you need two people to look after one person with dementia. I went round to her house every day to cook her a meal and clean up and put the washing machine on, but eventually she had to come live with us

    One thing that pissed me off was the cost of obtaining Power of Attorney, and the hoops we were forced to go through - £125 application fee, and if you put one single full stop wrong on the 10 page form, it was rejected, and another £125 was payable to reapply , £250 to a Mental Health Doctor to sign the form saying she knew what she was doing giving me PoT, the bank charged us £30 to set up access... The Post Office was a bastard, there was £300 in the post office, the battle we had getting that was epic. We ende dup complaining to the Ombudsman, and they still dragged their heels.

    The only bit of fortune we had was the guy doing the burial was a silver stacker like me, so we paid him in gold soveriegns and thus avoided VAT....

  • We had to wait to move to Spain, because we looked after my mother for 5 years , and she eventually died age 93 in 2017, she had terrible dementia in the end.

    Sorry to hear about your mum.

    Unfortunately, after spending years looking after my dad, my mum got dementia too around the same time I created this site in 2017, although I wasn't sure she had it then and it has progressed to almost the end stage now in such a short time period. I can't be here on this site much, for this reason, even though this site was created, in part, to share my experiences of dementia. I just assumed those experiences were going to be historical in nature...:(

    And as you say it takes two people to look after someone with dementia, but it my case, I looked after my dad on my own largely and only get limited help now, but hey ho, those fuckwit protestors at Westminster don't give a damn about the real issues in life, because they haven't faced such issues yet. Lucky them!

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  • Social care: Is free personal care the answer?

    Political parties have been talking about reforming social care for the past 20 years, amid claims the system is in crisis, with services stretched and thousands of people having to sell their homes to fund care.

    Tony Blair came to power in 1997 promising to look at it - and since then, countless ideas have been put forward by all the parties.

    The latest proposal has been made by Labour. Free personal care will be introduced for the over-65s in England if the party gains power.

    Labour is proposing at its conference free personal care for all in your old age, but in reality there is no such thing as free.

    The costs of looking after the elderly especially those with dementia are overwhelmingly and I don't see how a state supplied system can ever really fully address the huge issues that are faced with looking after the elderly and/or disabled..

    I last slept properly on Thursday night, with some sleep on Saturday night and my next sleep will be tomorrow night. How can a State system ever realistically provide 24/7 care? And if it did, it would cost a hell of a lot more than £6bn.

    Dementia doesn't just occur during during normal office hours...

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  • How did we manage years ago?

    There were workhouses for the destitute, then geriatric and psychiatric hospitals which were all closed for care in community

    The problem was that it never happened, the closures were just money saving exercises and sufficient investment in social care was never implemented

    People are now living longer with associated problems, and insufficient means to care for them

    I worked in social care for mot of my life and was glad to retire, there was a significant change when hospitals started discharging patients not because they were better but because they needed the beds. That put the burden on the care worker who with limited resources did their best but eventually the patient went back into hospital

    The cost of home care on the patient or family is now very high, and some like to keep their loved ones in hospital where the care is free

    The most stressful thing anyone has to do is care for a loved one, it is a 24/7 non stop grind especially with dementia, and it is important for the caring relative to get a break. There used to be regular respite care but that seems to have gone by the board

    A Hand Up Not A Hand Out

  • Indeed. My work is 24/7 and at a time when I meant to be in my peak earnings age, but there we go. I get a break three times a week and most of that free time is either spent talking to members here or doing behind the scenes stuff for this site, which is hardly relaxing. I will next be allowed to sleep tomorrow night. Sometimes a "shift" is 36 hours continuous without a single breather.

    My nan was looked after in a local elderly people's hospital once her dementia got really bad, fast forward to today and that hospital is currently being converted into luxury flats...

    As you say, its all about freeing beds.

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