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As requested by my fellow team members, an extract from my trilogy, second book (A consorts Quest) The prince had escaped from the black Queen and had been pursued for many days:Quote
‘Can you stop her?’
‘I can stop her women, but as for her, she is Jervas’s summoner and he will likely protect her so that he can stay in our world. If she dies then he must return to his own plane. But we are going to meet Jervas in person, now is the time for you to grow your aura.’
‘But Peter, I don’t know how.’ Protested Leo
‘I will join with you and get you started but I will have to leave you on your own when they come. I need to summon the salamander and if you were in my mind then you would be burnt.’
Peter concentrated and let his mind join Leo’s. He felt the doubt and was sorry for the boy. In two cycles he had been launched from farm boy to sorcerers apprentice, his mind was having trouble coping. Peter showed him how to start the pink aura, how to build it and hold it stable. He was pleased, Leo picked things up quick and seemed gifted, he wondered if the boy was perhaps descended from an exile of the City. That would explain his looks and latent ability. Finally he could do no more for him and withdrew back to his own body and prepared his own aura. He could hear the gallop of hooves distantly. There would just be enough time. He moved away from Leo about ten paces.
Then he offset his mind, visualised the triangular fire symbol, intoned the spells and made his way to the plane of the salamanders. Veils of orange shifted before his eyes and he could see the achingly bright elementals. He pulled with his mind and selected the largest one he could see. It was a risk but Jervas’s power grew with each day that he stayed in their world. He must be sure of resisting him. He pulled the beast back with him and fought to expel the salamander from his body.
Finally with ear-splitting chattering it was done. In front of Peter squatted a huge beast, twice as long as a horse though not as high and glowing bright orange with yellow mottled markings. It gazed up the shore with its jewelled orbs. The searing heat from its body caused sand to melt and small trickles of glass ran down the beach to be lost hissing in the sea. Peter could feel that he had been hurt internally by the summoning but the pain was just bearable and there would be Garant on the trireme to help heal him. He had full control and readied himself to meet their foes.
Darathea led the women over the crest of the sand at the head of the beach only to be greeted by the gaze of the salamander. She stopped dead as did Jervas at her side. The gnome was not smiling now; indeed a scowl creased his dark features. Darathea ordered her women forwards to take Peter but the gaze from the salamander turned them to ashes.
‘Jervas, get Peter, I order you.’
‘No majesty I cannot, he has the salamander, I cannot defeat that elemental. It is too big and powerful.’
‘Then get the princes boy, if I have him Peter will follow.’
‘Alas that is also not possible, Peter has put the boy in touch with his guardian and he is also protected.’
Then Peter ordered the salamander forwards to destroy Darathea and Jervas. Just as the elemental was about to reach them an ochre shield sprang up to defy the might of the salamander.
‘Peter!’ shouted Jervas above the hissing of the salamander ‘You cannot get us and we cannot get you, it is stalemate.’
‘Yes Jervas, a draw. What will you and Darathea do?’
‘Fight you another day.’
At that point the trireme came into view and already two gig boats had been lowered to the water. In a moment they were skimming over the sea towards the shore. In the prow of the first stood David, in the second Garant his eyes glowing with pleasure seeing the giant salamander that kept the Queen and her gnome at bay. He could also see the pink auras round Peter and Leo. These he had never seen before. That was what the prince had meant about finding a new power. He was keen to know more.
I haven't looked at this for some time so I think a re-edit may be needed and some fleshing out of the third book. There is also the very bare outline of a sequel when the complex planes (Space-time and Astral) coincide at the conjuction.
That sounds very intriguing, Heero. How long is the whole book?
I think all three add up to about 300,000 words, though the third book is not complete. First and last chapters are done but the middle is only in outline. BTW if you want an image of the black Queen, think Queen Gedrun in Red Sonja.
Just got the stats out of Word and the three together are about 150,000 words.
Are you thinking of publishing them?
Maybe once I get them finished. I think I'd put them up on my own website as I would like control. I actually wrote them for me and the OH as the content in places is a bit "challenging" though my younger sister said the society in the Pure City was very Greek and the sex scenes were rather Mills and Boon. Well I don't need to go into full squelchy detail. Especially as they're up for it quite often.
My late mother, who was a pagan, read the two first books and liked them especially the Gnome Jervas. (Earth elemental) Although he's evil he does come to respect the Prince. Actually as a character I'm rather pleased with him. I also discussed with my mother the properties of the four elementals: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. To get these right as well as the consequences to the summoner of the failure of control and proper dismissal.
As a little bit of background: The setting is about ten millennia after an apocalyptic nuclear exchange wipes out the old civilisation except for a few enigmatic artifacts and the two glass deserts on Shydoria (Queen Darathea's realm), one of which is still lethally radioactive. The results also change the character, particularly sexually, of many of the remaining inhabitants except for the Dwarves who were sheltered by their mountain in the north of the Principality. They trade with the Principality for gold and in return fine rapier swords as well as other metal and crystal goods.
The world is not Earth and is somewhat smaller.
I'm also a pagan. I think you should look at all three manuscripts again and work them into a strong narrative that moves from one book to the next in the trilogy. The best way to get narrative integrity is to work through the story from the beginning to the end, bearing in mind all that has gone before and taking into account what might happen in the future, based on this.
It doesn't matter whether one is writing pure fantasy, or magic realism or a novel about spies or theft or politics. The method is the same. I'm speaking now, with my literary hat on as this is my qualification. A good text is one the writer planned and then worked hard at. The texture of the language is woven into life by the use of metaphor and the better you are at being yourself in this regard, the more character your script will have because you won't be following anything but the guide of your own imagination and personal turn of phrase.
From an artist's point of view, you may agree that a work of fiction belongs to the creator and not to the whims of "workshopping" (others replying to your questions, what should I do next, what should I call this, what should happen now, etc) by a readership group, who mostly like to tell you what to do, what to say and how to end things. Mostly because they like the power this gives them as they cannot write for toffee but love to tell everyone else how to do it. And they are self-appointed experts, every one.
You don't lose control by self publishing because you can put anything you like in your own book. You might lose a great deal of independence by getting picked up by a publisher as these are only interested in the cash value of your stuff. They want to dictate length, breadth and subject matter as they have dollar signs in their eyes and film scripts on their horizon. They did this on steroids with Harry Potter.
If you have a story and characters that can make a world and a scenario and a trilogy, then you can strike out, as I did, and make them your own without any worries about who likes them and who doesn't or whether they will be huge money spinners. We are the independents and in indy writing there are many who simply don't want to be dictated to.
Do you put much effort into your trilogy, or did you conceive it as a fun thing? If you have a plot, characters with contextually believable personas and a beginning, middle and end, complete with build up, climax (to the story ) and denouement (ending, open-ended or final), then you have the skeleton of a narrative. If that narrative can extend itself over three books or seven or twenty, then you need those tools and that integration and a huge unrewarded effort to get it to delivery as a work of fiction.
I like the fact that you consulted your Mum on things because this means you did research and you are doing something creative with what you know. When that happens, the whole thing gets your name and personality stamped on it. It isn't just a story in the fantasy genre like so many others, it becomes your story in your created world and that gives it extra appeal to anyone reading it who may have more than one brain cell. And, amazingly enough, there are a few of these folk left.
I have published seven books and a couple of short stories and a book of poems. I started my fantasy sagas of five books when I was about twenty and still at university, with no time to write. I worked on the plot and characters and finally, after getting tired of being buggered about by the world of publishing, I went for the gap, thanks to the advice of a certain person, and self published.
You are unknown, no one gives a solitary stuff about you, some like to gouge your literary eyeballs out with hot spikes and there is no money in it, but - you did it your way, you made it as long or as short as it needs to be and you put into it what you wanted and not what you were instructed to do, based on the whims and wants of the pool of consumers that is the publisher's necessary resource.
I like the plot you've outlined. Go through everything from scratch and write also for the Muses on Mount Olympus. And for your Mum, who is standing beside you like a candle flame that can never go out.
Thank you for your comments LW. I started it as a fun idea conceived when I was suffering bad insomnia. I would lie awake and work through bits of the story(s). Everytime I had a good bit clear in my mind I got up and punched it into the PC. I did get more organised, re-did a load of stuff and set out the chapters properly. That's when it resolved into a trilogy as each book is a distinct story. Though the whole is eventually dominated by the Black Queen's infatuation with the Prince and her attempts to capture and "cure" him at any costs including her soul and eventually her life.
From the end of the second book:Quote
On the plane of darkness Darathea knelt and held her head low, the presence in front of her demanded it. Jervas stood to one side, smiling.
‘Rise’ A voice, quiet, gentle but at the same time powerful and evil echoed in her mind.
She raised her head and tried to look at the presence, it was not possible. Jervas laughed.
‘Jervas, do not be too hard on Darathea, she is still learning. Rise my Queen.’
The voice mocked. Darathea looked at what she took to be the centre of the presence.
‘I am not your queen, you are my master, what is your bidding?’ The words came slowly to the lips of one who was unaccustomed to serving.
‘Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen. For now, you are doing all that is required of you. Peter will try to attack you. You will resist him, I will give you power to stop him.’
‘I want him as my lover.’
‘When he and my adversary are defeated on your plane then he will be yours.’
‘How can that be, he is committed to other men.’
‘I am the dark lord, when I rule a plane I can make all things possible.’
Darathea bowed low. Then the plane faded from view and she was back in her chamber in Tarkle. Darathea said, mostly to herself:
‘What have I done?’
‘What you had to do.’ Said Jervas ‘If you really want Peter.’
The dark lord gloated; this plane was as good as his. Now where was the next dispute?
I find it fairly easy to visualise the scenes in my mind, feel the characters emotions and then to describe them on paper. I've drawn from a number of odd sources, for example the Princes palace with the green polished marble corridors, blue-white flameless lamps and the council chamber were inspired by a level from the PC game Doom.
I remember a phrase just popping into my head: "He gazed out at the dim purple glow that hovered over the glass desert. No man ever returned from there" It became a whole chapter.
There's traditional good vs evil, but there's also the conflict of man vs woman, barbarian vs civilised and gay vs straight woven together with swords and sorcery.
I haven't looked at it for several years so when I have some time I must re-read from the start to ensure continuity and pacing is correct and finish the third book.
Terrific! You have all sorts of good stuff in there for a delicious dance with evil, ambition and desire.
Do you have any intention of ending the trilogy with some sort of outcome that is final? or do these entities have no existence in such a concept as "end" or "final"? Are they fluid entities? And so, is evil also a fluid force? Does it occupy or travel through various dimensions, etc.
You have the themes and characters for a great set of books. Hope you're going to get stuck into the manuscripts and make them turn purple, orange and gold.
Good luck and keep us posted on progress.
The trilogy ends when Darathea is incinerated in her throne room by two giant salamanders under Peters control. Shydoria becomes self governing with men and women equal but owes allegence to the Prince. The White lord visits Peter in Shydoria to confirm that their plane is now one of his and is safe.
However the battle between the Dark and White lords to bring planes under their dominion continues after each intersection of the planes until the Singularity occures. This is a possible sequel and I might get the prince involved again.
From the beginning of the third book where Peter's Guardian (Angel) takes him to meet the white Lord on his plane:Quote
‘The planes move in complex orbits in five dimensional space, sometimes they are close, at other times far apart, your plane and those of the elementals share close orbits and are always within easy reach of each other. The intersection of planes occurs about every fifty thousand of your years. At that time all the planes occupy the same point in the three dimensions of space and one of time though not the same point in the fifth dimension so they are still relatively separate. At that time there is free movement across all the barriers, all planes are at risk but also planes that are chaotic will become ordered again. When the intersection is over the barriers are re-established and our conflict begins anew, this I have been told as I have yet to experience an intersection.’
‘But if you are only ten thousand years old as you claim then who defied him before you?’
‘I don’t know, it has been suggested by some that it is only my presence that caused the dark one to go on his rampage. If that is so I am sorry. I can only atone by resisting him with all my energies. Others have said that I simply replaced an earlier one who resisted him. Maybe it is an endless struggle or even a cyclic one.’
‘When is the next intersection due?’
‘It is difficult to predict as the interval is not constant, my best estimate is in nine hundred and ninety of your years from now though I will only be a few days older.’
‘At least that’s one less thing to worry me. But tell me: you use some kind of sorcery to open the paths between planes, I travel in my astral form, but how does he do it?’
‘It is somewhat the same as your method but he is able to physically open the barriers as I have said and then pass through, how, I do not know perhaps even he does not. The method matters not, the fact he can do what he does is enough.’
‘You mentioned that the intersection only involves four dimensions, what happens when the planes all meet in the five dimensions that you talk about?’
‘Ah. The Singularity. Neither he nor myself know, though we have discussed it, perhaps it is the end of all we know and the start of a new reality. Neither of us can view the fifth astral dimension so we cannot know whether a particular intersection will also be the Singularity.’
‘You have met him face to face?’
‘He has no face or even a definable form, more just a black presence but in the sense that you mean, yes. There is one small closed plane of grey, grey sky with no sun or clouds above a grey flat land with no hills, water or creatures. There is no wind and it is neither hot nor cold. If you started walking in any direction you would end up where you started in less than a day. We have both designated this as neutral ground where we do not fight but from time to time here we meet. Strangely my power does not distort this plane, perhaps there is nothing there to distort. Now I will show some of his creatures and perhaps the methods that you may be able to use against them, I do not know what he will make available to Darathea through Jervas but as he hates to lose it is best you know about these. It is likely he will use them all.’
Great extract, Heero.
Would I be correct to assume that the prince is in effect, yourself?
I could tell it was someone you know/knew.
What I love about scifi/fantasy, is that if you take away all the space battles, wizards, magic, etc all that stuff, the stories are usually about real people just set in a different time and place.
I am sure LW could guide you into turning your writing into proper books, she's done it herself. You're almost there.
Aren't I lucky to have such talented people on my forum?
Edit: Our forum.
I like that last extract, Heero. It answers my questions about the planes and it's deep and complex and fabulous.
Thank you for your comments.
The Black Queen (Darathea) as I see her:
Having a character in mind that you can "see" really helps (This is Sandahl Bergman) A number of the characters in the books come from other places either real life, books or films though altered as needed. For the Dwarves and their mountain I thought of the Mines of Moria from Lord of the Rings, once I could see the images, describing the Dwarves and their mines was relatively easy and adding some different stuff like the water powered lift, the huge panoramic crystal windows in the great hall on the fiftieth level and the area where tin was mined
(Stopes in Cornish mines) helped make it unique.
The concept of the planes comes from physics and the conjecture of additional dimensions over and above the 4 we know of. Adding the 5th "Astral" dimension allows for fantasy stuff like the Elementals and Guardians to exist in coincidence with the "real" world. Who knows, maybe it does and we just aren't aware of it most of the time? (Ghosts, poltergeists, angels, demons?)
Throughout I've tried to make the characters act and react as you would expect normal people to do. There's a bit of toungue-in-cheek occasionally with the mirrored ceilings in the bedchambers to Peter's council deputy being named Oberon.
Hang on, without turning this into a science thread, but what is the 4th dimension? I thought we lived in a three dimensional world.
Agree with what you say about the 5th dimension, I'm sure in time science may well prove this stuff.
Hang on, without turning this into a science thread, but what is the 4th dimension? I thought we lived in a three dimensional world.
Agree with what you say about the 5th dimension, I'm sure in time science may well prove this stuff.
4th dimension is time, the four collectively are referred to as "Space-Time"
I've also written some fan fiction style stuff for some of the characters from Gundam Wing. This is somewhat easier than pure fantasy as the characters and the way they look and act are already familiar from the animé and other fan fiction so you can get straight into the story.
My previous extracts were of sorcery, now try one of sword from the end of the first book: Peter and a few citizens have entered the Pure City by stealth using the power of the altars in the temple complexes. This is after Queen Darathea's womens army invaded the principality while Peter was away. Her name is Varana:Quote
At last Peter and the woman’s army commander stood face to face: Peter, tall, noble with soft blond hair to his waist held back by his golden circlet, his smooth lean body complemented by the small white mini skirt and the fine blouse that he wore. Richard thought he looked as magnificent as he ever had and hoped the fighting would soon be swiftly over so that he could get him to a bed. And her: Shorter by at least the width of a hand, dark haired, dark skinned with heavy breasts, narrow waist and large muscled thighs. She wore a small pair of shorts, a top that exposed her black midriff and was only armed with a curved dagger. The pointed end of Peter’s twitching sword kept her at bay. She bared her teeth in a snarl, hissed and then spat at him.
‘You! The man with the circlet. My Queen said you would come but by ship. She wanted you captured and taken back to her but who are you?’
‘I am Peter. Prince and citizen of the Pure City’ said Peter quietly, wiping the sour spittle from his face. ‘You and your kind have violated and defiled my country, my city, my palace and my people. I will be rid of you.’
‘Call yourself a man?’ she hissed ‘Bastard spawn! You lie with your fellow bastards, filth, animal, pervert, woman hater!’ her voice had become a vicious snarl.
She continued to pile insult upon insult in an unremitting flow of vitriol, besmirching in turn his honour, the simple decency of the citizens, their devotion to their consorts and the purity of the City. He concentrated, clearing and calming his mind, blocking her voice and quelling his anger so that he could imagine the viscera, the mental discipline was needed to ensure that the stroke was exact. Richard and the citizens behind Peter wondered why he hesitated.
Then suddenly his rapier shot forward in a blur cleanly penetrating the woman’s chest just under the breastbone silencing the diatribe in mid flow, then the blade curved up evilly and executed the peculiar circular motion that Peter had long practised on the gymnasium models under the supervision of the palace sword masters. As he withdrew the blade with a flourish an oval of flesh fell out, blood spurted and the heart of the woman, still beating, fell from her body. The dagger clattered to the ground while she collapsed in a pool of blood uttering obscenities, twitched and was then silent. The citizens behind Peter gasped in appreciative awe: He had used the H’aicut.
I did look at human anatomy to see if this might be possible.
Richard was Peters first consort and was killed at the end of the first book by a poison arrow. After a dark time He finds David.
Now that everyone has buggered off and I have the house to myself again, I can say more without having to run round like chicken without a head.
I don't know the whole script, of course, but this previous extract has a lot of powerful juxtapositions in it. Male/female, purity/impurity, light/dark, good/evil and it has the phallic symbol of the sword cutting out the heart of the head of the female army.
It also has this act as one that required precision and learning at some academy of these arts.
In fact it also has the juxtaposition of the animalistic (in the spitting, hissing female) and the advanced human in the calm golden man with the sword.
Which also brings out the polar opposites of the angelic and the demonic.
Plus the suggestion of male love associated with the purity of the golden man and the hostility toward this from the animal-like female warrior.
A lot of volatile ideas in that passage. An outcome that is shocking in its precision and controversial in meaning. The sword of the golden man cuts out the heart of the demonic, animalistic female.
Ooh, la la on steroids .
Thank you LW. I'd had Peter learn this method of killing an opponent long before I needed it in this scene. It was before the expedition to find Shydoria and the consequences of Queen Darathea knowing of the prince and his land.
It seemed a fitting way of him getting some revenge. There is a simpler stroke that just severs the aorta. My younger sister has accused me of being somewhat misogynistic particularly in the first chapter when a woman mysteriously appears in the altar room in the Temple. It wasn't deliberate, it just evolved that way.
The actual heart coming out as a method of execution was inspired by a scene from the film "The sword and the Sorcerer" where Xusha pulls the heart out of a witch by mental force alone.
Once I can get some work off the desktop I think it's time to revisit this and try to get it finished. It's funny all day I deal with the real world and tech stuff. Escaping into fantasy comes as a relief.
Yes, I love moving into my various fictional realms too.
I don't think something like misogyny is a valid criticism if one is looking at the text from a literary analytic point of view, as I do. I am going through the metaphorical language, checking out the conceptual presentations and delving into character depth and integrity (that is, examining whether the characters act according to their natures, etc) , action, movement, climax and finale. If it all hangs together and the web is strong, then the content is holding up, no matter what anyone happens to like or dislike about it.
I am becoming the word weave when I read it, suspending disbelief and seeing if the fabric holds, if you know what I mean. It isn't important what I personally might think of anything. What matters is how the writer has crafted it to fit into the sense and intention of the narrative.
You seem to have constructed a complex set of realms and a number of elemental forces, represented by the characters to make these forces work in the worlds and on one another. This I like.
It's your story. You can do whatever you like as long as the elements of literary integrity work together to illuminate the sense and intention.
Nice. I can really visualise the scene.
I will probably need to read this thread at least a half dozen more times, as I kind of got lost between dimensions there somewhere and cannot absorb all the information. Wish I had a half decent brain!
Just read LW's extract. Very dark and intense.... Note to self, keep on her good side!
Here's a little ficlet for Heero and Duo. It's the first one I wrote from one of the characters point of view:Quote
Title: I watch over him.
Genre: shonen ai, fantasy
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the GW characters. (Not even Duo, sigh) I just take them out of the box, play with them a little and try to put them back unharmed. They remain the property of the respective copyright holder(s) The story is mine
Setting: L2 Duo’s apartment AC202 Late evening. Heero POV
****** Time passing / scene change
I watch over him.
It’s been five years since the Maremaia incident but I still watch over him.
When he walks the streets I watch over him. I stop the bad guys who want to steal from him or worse. I’ve warned, maimed, even killed to protect him. He doesn’t know I’m there, doesn’t know that I would sacrifice myself to keep him safe. I watch over him.
He goes to those clubs, brings back men who stay overnight, but I still watch over him. I can’t help it. He comforted me when I had the nightmares. He crept into my bed and held me as I screamed out my terrors. He made it possible to survive. I owe him so much but I never told him. So I watch over him.
I’ve had counselling of course, training to come to terms with the war, get back in touch with my emotions, now I understand the feelings I have for him, but I’m afraid to contact him. What he will think? So I watch over him.
But tonight is different. He has come back alone. I can see the TV on in his apartment. The lights are low. This time I have the courage to ascend the stairs: Enough courage to stand in front of the door. The bell push is the last obstacle. I can walk away and he’ll never know I was there or I can press that simple button.
Now I’ve crossed that barrier, the Rubicon, I’ve pushed the button, heard the bell ring. The door opens and there he is, older and taller yes but still beautiful, violet eyes open wide:
“Heero, it really is you! Come on in”
He looks pleased to see me. Backs up to let me in. Maybe I can be a friend with him again. He turns and walks towards the small kitchen. I close the door and follow him.
“Thanks, I’d like that”
He’s still wearing his clubbing gear: Glossy black PVC trousers, tight in all the right places, Black combat boots, purple silk shirt top three buttons open, a contrast to the cinnamon braid, thicker and now at least a foot longer than when I met him first. Still lean. He can have any one he wants. But what about me? Am I destined only to watch over him?
“Black, one sugar?”
“I couldn’t forget you, Heero. Where have you been?”
“Brief as usual, one day I’ll find out what goes on in that head of yours”
“You’d want to?”
“Yes. Look Heero, I don’t really know anything about you. We met during the war and seemed to get along. At least you didn’t kill me. I thought we had some kind of relationship. Dammit Heero, we even shared a bed. Then when the conflict was over you just upped and vanished. I naturally assumed that you’d gone to be with Relena. I missed you. Now suddenly you’re back”
“It was only Relena that wanted me, the feeling isn’t mutual. But I never went away, I’ve watched over you”
“I thought I was the stealthy one. You know I felt that someone had been there. I never saw you but I never seemed to get any trouble on the streets. It seemed odd”
“I’ve been your guardian angel if you like. I know that you can handle yourself in a fight but I wanted to be sure.”
“If you were there why didn’t you come and see me?”
“I’ve been trying to summon up the courage.”
“Yes Duo, I’ve had a hard time coming to terms with my emotions, I was afraid that you’d blank me. Rejection is hardest.”
“Tell me you’re the real Heero Yuy? Steely, determined, reliable when all others failed?”
“That was my training, you didn’t see under the shell”
“Not even the nightmares?”
“Ah. You do remember?”
“I remember holding you as you screamed and cried, reliving the death of that girl and her dog. Holding you as you sobbed yourself back to sleep. Saw a glimpse of the frightened boy inside the soldier. How could I forget?”
“I thank you for that. Duo. I never told you but it was you that helped me make it through. Stopped me really killing myself.”
We’re now back in the lounge of his apartment, both sitting on the worn sofa. His braid lies on the threadbare material between us. The TV sound is low, some old chat show re-run. I want to ask him. The braid. It fascinates me. Has always fascinated me.
“Duo, do you un-braid your hair? Apart from when you wash it?”
“Only for someone special”
I swallow, dare I ask? It’s what I’ve always wanted: Something in his face?
“Would you let me un-braid it?”
He looks at me strangely, I can’t understand the emotion but his eyes are very large”
I reach forward and lift up the braid. Relishing the heavy, silky smoothness of the hair. Slowly I remove the elastic tie from the tassel end. We’re very close. Suddenly Duo captures my lips with a kiss full of passion and ferocity. The braid starts to unravel. Unnoticed.
So now I sleep with him, watch over him.
I watch over him, because he’s the most precious thing I have.
Nice writing, Heero. I am not familiar with the fan fiction thing but know fanart which I see a lot of on Deviantart.
Can I take it that this "ficlet" is fan fiction where you create something based on two characters from an actual story? In your excerpt, I would then say they weren't OCs because they are the actual characters with their names. So would this be a kind of "what-if" piece from you that might have happened had we been invisible observers of an interlude between the two characters that is apart from the original story but related directly to it by means of fan fiction?
Yes, the fiction is created from the characters but also has some basis in the series: Heero and Duo save each-other from death several times when the actual "correct" course would have been to kill each-other. This implies a deeper relationship especially when Heero rescues Duo from jail and execution on space colony C102
They are also seen in juxtaposition more often than with the other main characters. There is also other material such as Episode Zero that gives more background to the characters