Hi everybody. I'm a little late this week and I know you've missed me (yer right.... lol), but here we are again. Let's go......
Firstly, and before anything else, let's deal with the elephant in the room.
A MATTER OF TRUST
The Dominic Cummings scandal has hit hard on a government that has been under fire all week for various aspects of its mismanagement of COVID-19. And when the news broke that, not only did Dominic Cummings travel to Durham during the lockdown, but also that the government attempted to cover it up, has put the Prime Minister is in serious, serious trouble.
Johnson’s response has caused the Cummings incident to touch very sensitive spots with the public, that is suffering, misery and death. It is obvious that Cummings by-passed the government’s own requests and the law so why should anybody else not do the same? Johnson may have a majority in the house but it is in the streets that real power rests.
Cumming’s weasel words to the press yesterday put on display a man who is utterly pitiless. Totally without shame, remorse or empathy. A man so callous and brutal he couldn’t even say sorry to the people he knows he has deeply hurt. There is not one shred of decency in the man.
Like policing, democracy depends on the acceptance of authority by the majority. If that fails so does the government no matter how much they resort to denial. The Poll Tax fiasco proved that with Thatcher when it brought her down. Johnson is sinking ever deeper into a quicksand of his own making. The sooner he vanishes the better. It may take another 4.6 years, but every day the clock ticks on. Tick Tock.
DEAL OR NO DEAL
The EU are looking for a deal that is beneficial to them compared with not having a deal. There is a potential deal that they would be willing to go for, but they won't go for a deal at any price and in particular won't sacrifice the integrity of the Single Market to get it. They aren't trying to do anything to save us from ourselves. They no longer care about the UK, we are now a competitor in the world market. However, they take the view that you can agree a trade deal with competitors if the deal is beneficial to your side.
So they are happy to continue to negotiate for a deal in the hope of one that is beneficial compared with where they'd be in Jan 2021 without such a deal. It's not rocket science.
They see an opportunity for a beneficial (for them) deal and so will negotiate until that is realised or there is no longer any hope of it. What they won't do is give Britain a better - or as good a - deal as we had prior to leaving. Britain's position can only possibly worsen.
In reality the EU won't walk away all the time they believe they may benefit because the effort put in to negotiating it is actually very minor compared with the potential reward (for them), but equally don't expect them to bend over backwards to try and secure a deal at any cost.
LADY 'GENTLEMAN' IS FOR TURNING
Having been forced into a humiliating U turn by Keir Starmer, NHS fees for overseas staff and care workers have been scrapped. The Leader of the Opposition told Dominic Cummings' glove puppet that his U turn was the “Decent thing to do.” Very magnanimous, Sir Kier. He could have claimed the credit but has instead shown dignity and statesmanship.
Perhaps Bonking Boris will get a warm and fuzzy feeling inside at doing “The decent thing” for once in his privileged life. Will it make a difference to his long term future plans for the NHS…? Time will tell.
A MAN FOR HIS TIME. THE 1970’s
The former wannabe comedian Jim “One Joke” Davidson, a man for whom the phrase “Different Times” was invented, flounced off Twitter last week: “There are some angry, jealous lefties on here. It’s doing my head in”. After his hopes for Boris Johnson’s big lockdown speech were ridiculed. “I hope Boris lets us be sensible………….. open the golf courses, the marinas. Let’s start living again.” Alas, the poor, downtrodden golfers and sailboat owners of Britain found their dreams in tatters. Poor things. My heart bleeds for them.
EYES WIDE SHUT
Roger Helmer, the former MEP who was famously photographed 'resting his eyes' in the EU Parliament chamber fears his countrymen are sleepwalking into disaster. “I’m told that 75% of Brits favour continuing the lockdown and putting lives ahead of the economy. I fear they haven’t fully grasped the appalling consequences for jobs and prosperity” he tweeted. He should remember when the percentage in favour of making a serious change to the nation’s economic wellbeing was somewhat smaller. 23% smaller in fact and those opposed to it were told to shut up and accept the will of the people. Helmer later tweeted: “Actually, I think COVID-19 is a Remainer plot to kill off most of the old people who voted Leave.” If so, it was a pretty ballsy move by the conspirators to launch their cunning plan in Wuhan, some 5,500 miles from UK.
DAMAGE THE NHS? YES, LETS DO IT
Mark Francois posted a video on Twitter of him clapping the NHS while wearing a Barbarians rugby shirt. His neighbours probably thought “Blimey, Hamburglar has let himself go”. A reminder of how highly Corporal “I was in the Territorial Army, dontcha know” Francois values the NHS came when he was interviewed by Jeremy Vine. Vine pointed out the damage Brexit would do the NHS. Francois’ reply? “That’s an opinion and at the end of the day, there’s only one way to find out so let’s try it.”
I was a bit confused by your maths when you made that rambling, incoherent address to the nation on May 10. You said that the new COVID Alert Level would be measured out of five. (OK so far) compared to R (rate of infection) + actual number of infections. Hmmm… Okaaaaaayyy. So….. Since the ‘R’ had already been revealed at 0.6 and the number of infections on that day was 219’183, then the Covid Alert Level was 219’183.6 out of 5, yeah..? That’s numberwang any way you look at it. It’s maths that even Priti Patel with her three hundred and seventy thousand and thirty four nine hundred and seventy four thousand coronavirus tests, knows doesn’t add up. With geniuses like you and Patel at the helm how could anybody possibly believe that we’re doing anything wrong..?
SILLY POLITICAL PARTY OF THE WEEK
The Party For Moderate Progress Within the Bounds of the Law (Austria)
The brainchild of Czech writer Jaroslav Hasek and a few hard-drinking literary friends in 1911 might be the only frivolous political party in history with it's own hymn(of sorts)
A million candidates rose up
To hoodwink honest people.
The electorate would give them votes
And they would gladly take them.
Let others call for violent progress,
By force world order overturn.
Moderate progress is our aim
And Jaroslav Hašek is our man.
But a less political motive to kickstarting a political party (and a great plot for a potential romantic comedy) was to help a close friend chase his love of the daughter of the proprietor of the inn where the party held election meetings. The party members hoped that increasing the innkeeper's custom would persuade him to take more kindly to his potential son-in-law. It didn't. The Innkeeper caught the couple in flagrante delicto and went to fetch his hunting rifle. The prospective son-in-law took the opportunity to scarper. Pronto.
THE TIM BRADFORD BIT
My mate Lizzy Wizzy says.........
According to the religious, God is perfect and created man in his own image. And yet, when humans wanted to invent something that could travel long distances quickly and easily, they invented the wheel. Which looks nothing like a leg.