Jokes & Silly Thread

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  • A discount on Nutella has led to violent scenes in a chain of French supermarkets, as shoppers jostled to grab a bargain on the sweet spread.

    Intermarché supermarkets offered a 70% discount on Nutella, bringing the price down from €4.50 (£3.90) to €1.40.

    Watch the video on the linked article (click on the orange writing) its hilarious.

    Now, if our supermarkets had a discount on chocolate bars and/or chocolate biscuits, I'd kill anyone in my way to get them cut price. :evil:;)

  • I'll need to look at the video later on the lappy as the script blocker has some of the link blacklisted. I only unlock this main system when I absolutely have to (like doing my tax return this morning) where as "loosing" the laptop would only be a minor inconvenience to re-format and reload the OS.

    People get very passionate about products. In fact the current Nutella add is playing on it's adictive qualities.

    I'm not a chocaholic, in fact I still have an up-opened pack of gourmet chocolate truffles from Xmas. Just on the odd occasion I'll suddenly get the urge and binge a whole big bar down. Generally I prefer savouries.

  • flame_thrower.jpg

  • I saw that on the news last night about Musk's flamethrowers. Surely these can't be legal?? I would have thought that such things would come under the banner of firearms, the word "fire" being particularly relevant here.

    If they are legal, I might get one in case of any more serious problems with my neighbours!^^ It would add a new dimension to their garden barbecues.;)

  • Actually that bear question and also this one:

    You walk one mile North, then one mile East, then one mile South and you are where you started. Where are you? (South pole)

    Are good ones to ask kids.

    Flame throwers are probably quite legal in the land of the free.=O

  • Just heard Donald Trump boasting on the TV - when asked what sort of abilities did he possess that would prove to be very useful as President of the USA he replied - " well I don't wish to brag, but am very quick in assessing the correct solution to be applied to solve a problem....for instance, last week I completed a jigsaw after just 46 days - and the box stated 2 to 4 years!!" - impressive eh??

  • After the Nutella, now it's Pampers nappies:

  • Here's an oldie but goodie:

    An engineer was accidentally sent down to hell when he died. To make things a little less unpleasant there he had air conditioning and flush toilets installed.

    God looked down from heaven and angrilly demanded that the Devil should send the engineer up to heaven or he (God) would sue.

    The devil said "Where are you going to find a lawyer?"

  • That's pretty gross but I guess if it's what people want...

  • It snowed heavily here 3 nights ago - so the next morning, quite early, I made a snowman -

    8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn’t make a snow woman.

    8:15 So I made it into a snow woman - in just a couple of ticks!!

    8:19 The nanny of the neighbours complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest.

    8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it could have been two snowmen instead.

    8:25 The vegans at no.12 complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and are not to decorate snow figures with.

    8:28 I am now being called a racist because the snow woman is white.

    8:31 The Muslim gent across the road wants the snow woman to wear a headscarf.

    8:40 Someone called the police who showed up to see what was going on.

    8:42 I am then told that the broomstick of the snowman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon.

    8:43 I am overheard muttering to myself "Yeah, I could shove it up ...."

    8.44 I am then immediately arrested, blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.

    8:55 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked as I am grilled about having any previous arrests.

    9:00 I'm on the news as a suspected terrorist bent on stirring up trouble at this sensitive time.

    9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.

    9:29 A little known jihadist group has since claimed it was their plot.

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