Jokes & Silly Thread

  • I get the same look from the squirrels that visit my garden.

    You realise of course that they're testing you and looking for weakness.:D

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

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  • As long as they leave most of my planters alone with all the emegeing spring plants, I'll be happy, but they are evil beasties.:)

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  • Here's a Brexit song. There is some swearing, but it certainly made me laugh.


    17 Million F*ck Offs - A Song About Brexit

    Just seen this. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.:) He even got in, the "Obama at the back of the queue" thing.


    Had a hideous day, well hideous month and that was just the thing to take my mind off other stuff.


    Thanks for posting that link, Fidget.

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  • You don't need brains to be a Boss.

    When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

    The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

    The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."


    Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.


    Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!


    Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

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    If my post is in red it is moderation. Take note.

  • Quick! Call the firebrigade. Oh, wait a minute...


    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

    4312-gwban-gif

    If my post is in red it is moderation. Take note.

  • Bloody hell, I wonder how that happened? Looks like something wrong with the vehicle itself.

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  • I'm wondering if the ladder / cherry picker out of sight has touched powerlines? Given that the stabilisers also seems to be on fire.

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

    4312-gwban-gif

    If my post is in red it is moderation. Take note.

  • I went to an art exhibition where there was a copy of the Mona Lisa made out of elephant dung.


    The smell seemed to follow you round the room.

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

    4312-gwban-gif

    If my post is in red it is moderation. Take note.

  • History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

    4312-gwban-gif

    If my post is in red it is moderation. Take note.

  • I am a dog lover but no way would I dress up my dogs, other than a warm coat for my saluki when out in cold weather, as he has a very fine coat and no woolly undercoat.


    I think dogs are happiest when treated like dogs, and not like babies or dolls to be dressed up.

  • I used to breed and show chihuahuas before they became 'fashionable' and always had signed contracts on each sale, ie. if they had to part with the dog, for any reason, we needed to approve the new home or alternatively, we would take the dog back.


    We sold a show quality bitch to someone in Scotland, who decided to part with her because they claimed the bitch 'wouldn't show well at shows'. The prospective purchaser was well known for overbreeding her stock so we decided to buy her back. We went up to Scotland and after reaching their home and seeing how the bitch was treated there was no surprise that she wouldn't 'show'. She was carried everywhere and dressed in a cardigan! She spent the rest of her days at our home, and loved racing about with the other dogs.


    Our tiny pack of chihuahuas once tramped halfway up Snowdon, and were still full of running on the way down. They had a darn site more stamina than we did. :)

  • Well if we're going to have cross the road jokes:


    Why did the hedgehog cross the road?


    To see his flat mate.

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

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  • Full story, Video and pictures on link above.

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

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  • Story and pictures on link above. I wonder if the earth mooved for the bovines.^^

    History is much like an Endless Waltz. The three beats of war, peace and revolution continue on forever.

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    If my post is in red it is moderation. Take note.

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